What happens AFTER marriage: Once you are both secure in the relationship, the husband and wife start trying to live into their God-given design. In fact, neither can become their best version until they move past superficial dating into the honing influence of marriage. HOWEVER, how they go about pursuing their design will determine the health of the marriage.
The Wife, like Eve, is designed to be a helper to Adam - so she will begin to start to try to hone him and mold him into the man she knows he can be. She can do this in healthy ways - calling him up and in - or unhealthy ways - calling him out and ‘nagging.’ At its best, this results in a man who is supported to become his best version. At its worst, this creates negative cycles that result in a beaten-down man who feels like a failure.
For his part, the Husband, like Adam before him, was made to conquer the garden and subdue it. Before he married, the woman was his goal to conquer. After marriage, when she is secure, his attention will shift to the next goal - career, money, fatherhood, etc. When he does this in a healthy way, he realizes that her heart is never a ‘sure thing’ and he will continue to pursue it and her, resulting in a happy wife along with the achievement of new goals. Done badly, he neglects her completely for the sake of career or children, but discovers when the kids leave for college that his single-minded focus on new goals has lost his wife’s heart and caused his marriage to crumble.
Husbands, wives, BE CAREFUL in how you live out your God-given design. How you do so will determine the health and longevity of your marriage.
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