Forgiving the Monster

I just finished podcast number 816 with Scar. It was a huge confirmation for what God has been taking me through the last month and a half.

You see I had a monster in my life too. One that loomed large and in charge for over 40 years. You see my dad and his buddies used to pass me around and do unspeakable things.

As a child I blocked that out and it resulted in me trusting the same man with my oldest child who he proceeded to use as well.

20 years we e of guilt, shame, and unforgiveness came to a head almost two months ago when I received a phone call….it was the monster telling me he was dying.

I spent hours not sure how to feel, says on an emotional rollercoaster, and the last month and a half in surrender.

I met with my monster to hear him out. I felt God leading me to check on his salvation and come to find out he recently gave his life to Christ. So now the monster is now not only my dad but my brother in Christ and a new being.

Long story short God called me to serve the man who spent a huge portion of my life trying to destroy me. Whether it was restoring our relationship, truly forgiving him, lunches, helping him take out the trash, whatever it was I was clearly called by God to serve him.

I don’t know if I would have been in place to be able to do this without the influence of Men in the Arena. The things I’ve learned about being a man from this podcast, from Jim personally, his books, or even the MAG group I used to attend; prepared my heart for the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Thank you for strengthening my faith and showing me what it means to be a man of God. I miss you all at MAG and will try and make it out more often.